What happens to the holidays when Mom and Dad split?

TMZ is reporting that Britney will be celebrating Thanksgiving a day early this year. Per the custody agreement, she'll be with the kids Wednesday while they'll spend most of Thanksgiving day with their dad.

Whether you care about Britney's holiday plans or not, it brings up an issue that millions of people face each year. How can you find family tradition in an untraditional family?

We asked Jeannette Lofas, president of the Stepfamily Foundation for her tips for blended families who want harmony during the holidays.

"There are more stepfamilies now than ever," Lofas shared. "In fact, 60 percent of all families are stepfamilies (which we call 21st-century families) which actually makes divorced and single parents the majority." Lofas adds, "Divorced parents not only take on the normal stress of the holidays, but the added stress of making it work together with an ex. If you at least follow these three tips, it will help not only the kids, but the adults."

• Plan, plan, plan! Everything has to be agreed upon up front, down to the smallest detail. Lack of predictibility hurts a child. From where they're going to what they're wearing and who they'll be with, they need to know what's ahead. 

• Build "couple strength." Don't work against each other. If it's the other parent's turn with the kids this Thanksgiving, find out the dress code for your child. Do whatever you can to prepare them so they can feel comfortable that day.

• Stay cool! Stepkids have a lot going on. They may say things that express how they feel about the situation. Also, kids who have to spend holidays without their mother will say things to try to include her there like, "My mom doesn't do it that way." Cut them some slack.

Remember: Kids are loaded with so much confusion. "Parents who don't plan have kids who hate holidays. Don't think for a second that if you wait until the last minute to plan that kids wont be affected." If the other parent is someone who can't be counted on, give him/her a deadline, and let them know you'll be moving on if you don't hear from them by that time. Don't sit around doing nothing waiting for them to show up. And whatever you do, do not use the holidays as a way to get even with your ex.